Why do so many of us see others, who have different opinions, as the enemy? Is part of the reason because we have been trained to see things in black or white, either/or? I think that most of life exists in gray areas. Rarely do we hear people talk about how seemingly opposite ideas can both be true at the same time.
Life cannot be put into neat little boxes. If one tries to, people may end up feeling stifled, thwarted or restricted. Is part of the problem because we tend to get locked into our own way of thinking? I’m going to go out on a limb and ask: Could it be our desire to control circumstances and even others, needing them to see, think and live the way we do? Do we feel threatened by others’ differences?
Is the root of this problem based in fear? Are we afraid if someone looks different than us, sees differently, thinks differently, believes and lives differently? Aren’t we all different from each other? Aren’t we all similar to each other, too? Consider the possibility that one does not have to cancel the other out. We can all learn from each other. It is important to make sure that we always have room for new perspective.
These are concepts for each of us to reflect upon, individually. I have found that it’s important to examine myself first. All change must come from within.
I have observed that people seem to be much more comfortable talking than listening. Listening is extremely important in life and in any process we undertake. It is how we acquire wisdom. We will learn a great deal about ourselves, if we choose to listen and observe ourselves.
There are many fields of science that don’t know what to do with statistics that fall outside their bell curve categories. Some research findings completely reject outliers. I guess they rock the boat a little bit too much. Ask Malcolm Gladwell; he’ll tell you all about it in his book Outliers.
Part of our sense of division may stem from something fostered in the classroom. Think about how often we were asked to “compare and contrast” things on tests and in papers. I do not condemn the educational system; teachers go the extra mile every single day of their life. And, I recognize that there are good reasons to ask students this kind of question, perhaps to get us to examine things more deeply. What I question is this perspective that starts when children are young, continues through higher education and gets reinforced throughout life in advertising and social media. The byproduct of this mindset is that millions of people walk around feeling deeply inadequate about themselves and painfully separate from others.
The opposite needs to happen. This is where the seeds of opportunity dwell. If we can strive to see how we are more alike, instead of focusing on our differences, our world and our experience in it, will change dramatically. For instance, I believe that most people want to be happy; want to be loved and want to belong. These are our common threads.
At the same time, I recognize that there are many subjects that we will not all agree on. Our goal is to try to see and understand each other more.
How can we create bridges? Setting an intention to look for them, is a good way to start. Another way is to find topics that are neutral. See how many you can come up with. In another time, when someone’s barn burned to the ground, neighbors rallied to help them build a new one. The neighbors probably did not ask what their political affiliation was, first. They recognized a need and responded.
I toss these topics and questions out to the reader to ruminate on. Go deep with them. See what comes.
Fortunately, there is something quite beautiful that surfaces in some, when natural disasters strike. They rise above and become a better version of themselves. I wonder if this is why there are so many natural disasters now? Is Mother Earth trying to get us to behave better? I guess we really do need to listen to our Mother! Let us heed her warnings and pray.