We have many choices. We do not have to live the way others live or have lived; we do not have to swallow things whole. It is to our benefit to assess what works for us, personally. Give yourself permission to chose what is right for you.
If you’ve been paying attention, you will see that a lot in the world hasn’t been working well. Religious leaders have abused children. Compulsively competitive parents have broken laws to get their children into prestigious colleges because they are trying to correct the mistakes they made in their lives and are putting unnecessary pressure on their children. Top corporate executives give themselves raise after raise, when many people struggle to put food on the table and a roof over their head. Businesses overwork people so much that sometimes a person does the work of 2½ people. And employees are encouraged not to take their vacation. They even reward people for doing this. Does anyone talk about how unhealthy and insane this is? There are a million things more important than money.
Everyday, people succumb to the pressures of what others want them to do. And then one day, they wake up, look at their life and realize that it isn’t the life they want to be living. Personally, I’ve always wondered how many millions of women got married in the 1930s, 40s and 50s, just because someone asked them to, without having asked themselves first, if they actually wanted to take on all that that role comes with. I would bet that if they had it to do over again, many women would make an entirely different choice.
People give their power away without consciously realizing it. If we pay attention to our inner world and our outer world and if we ask ourselves the larger uncomfortable questions, we will create our own life, not someone else’s life. Much of what people are exposed to, in many different settings, encourages people to give their power away. If we have been paying attention to our body, and its inner messages, we will realize that WE know ourselves better than anyone else; including professionals who will tell us what to do. If you have not paid attention to your inner being and your body, then you will be at the mercy of others, whether they know what is best for you or not.
If someone recommends that you need surgery, get another opinion. Ask if the same results can be obtained through physical therapy. There are TED talks given by physicians who educate the public on the type of questions that need to be asked, but are not being asked, perhaps out of fear, or out of deference to a prestigious profession that is not always correct. Case in point: In a TED Talk, Christer Mjaseti, a neurosurgeon at Harvard, recommends asking these questions about possible surgery: “Is this really necessary? What are the risks? Are there other options? What happens if I don’t do anything?” Do your research, ask your questions, even if it makes someone uncomfortable. It’s your body, it’s your choice.
If a person does not know their own truth, someone else with a louder voice or stronger opinion will come along and tell you what to do with your life. It may be your mother-in-law or a nosy neighbor. I invite you to pay rapt attention to see how often this kind of scenario happens in the world we currently live in.