I have a dear friend who is like an older sister to me. Since Linda lives in Connecticut, we meet in Stockbridge, MA several times a year, to catch up. We spend four to five hours talking, listening, walking, sharing, eating, laughing and deepening our bond with each other. Each time we meet, the day feels like a vacation to me. I treasure this woman more than words can describe.
Linda is very good at asking deep thought-provoking questions. Her most recent ones were no exception: “what of meaning has been passed down to you?” and “what would you like to leave future generations?”
Initially, I looked at my parents to reflect upon these questions. For several days, I could not come up with anything. The only thought I had was about my Mother. She had the strongest faith of anyone I knew. If a person needed prayers, she was the one to go to because, as I always said, “my Mother had a hot line to God.”
In reality, my parents’ time was spent dealing with the daily struggles of life and living with each other. There was nothing of significance to pass down to their children. If I am entirely truthful, I would say that I picked my parents to learn what I should not become.
When I went back a generation, my answers came. The legacy all four of my Grandparents gave me was immense courage. Part of their message, from the way they lived their lives, included valuing themselves enough, to take all the risks required to create their lives. Each grandparent left their homeland at young ages and traveled alone to come to America.
When I was growing up, I did not have this information. I did not know how courageous they were. And I did not see my grandparents or any other family member as a role model. I didn’t have a role model until I took a World Literature course in college. My professor was a 4’ 10” ball of fire. Janet Eber loved what she did and it was infectious. Up until that class, I wasn’t into reading. She changed that.
Now, I do see my Grandparents as role models. Each of them knew what they wanted and they risked everything to achieve it. I am happy to know that their courage lives in my DNA.
Now, to the second question, “what would you like to leave future generations?” My message would be: to value yourself deeply and completely, despite the horrible experiences you may have had in your past, because other people made bad choices, were ignorant, damaged and lacked consciousness.
Know deep in your bones that you are important and that you do have worth. Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself, when you struggle. Practice doing this as often as you need to. Being kind and gentle with oneself can be very challenging, especially if you are a person who is usually tough on yourself. Remember to take baby steps. Give yourself everything you would offer your best friend, if she needed your help.
Life on our planet has become very intense and out of control. There is far too much chaos, confusion, hatred and violence. Each of these are energies that not only surround the planet but also permeate our individual lives. And so, I toss these ideas out for your consideration:
Counter chaos by creating more structure in your life.
Counter confusion by focusing on the things that you do have clarity on.
Counter hatred with a lot of love. Tell the people you love, that you love them. Spend more time with them. If you love being in nature, spend time in it. Buy flowers for someone. Visit an elderly neighbor. You get the idea.
Counter violence by walking slowly, feeling the earth beneath your feet, breathing deeply and remembering that Peace is our true nature.
In these insane times, we need to actively nurture ourselves and each other, on a regular basis, by spending time with the people who are special to us. When you do, I invite you to listen deeply. Try to listen more than speak. Open to “see” the person in front of you. There is no greater gift.
What has been passed down to you, that you will leave future generations?